My Song for You: A Pushing Limits Novel Read online

  She laughed, the sound hard and brittle, ready to break. “Well, it certainly didn’t come from me. Other than Sharon when she guessed the truth, I’ve never told anyone who Logan’s real parents were. Only you knew about it, so the information had to come from you. I warned you that something like this would happen. Will the media now hound him every time he goes out? Am I supposed to get him a bodyguard to keep him safe? Will I have to worry about paparazzi stalking me and searching through my garbage?”

  I wanted to tell her none of this would happen, but I didn’t know if it was true or not. Would the leaked story in combination with the band’s upcoming album mean open season on my son? And what would it mean for Callie? Would she be hounded too while Logan was with her? Or would the media quickly grow bored and move on to the next celebrity news story?

  “All I can tell you is that I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen any more than you did. I certainly didn’t want Logan to find out this way.”

  Deep creases formed between her eyes. “What do you mean, ‘find out this way’? How exactly did he find out?”

  I told her everything the school had told me.

  She sat down hard on her bed and dropped her head in her hands. “None of this was supposed to happen. You need to decide what you want to do when it comes to Logan, but I can’t be with you anymore.” She couldn’t even look at me when she said it.

  “What are you saying? You want to take a break?”

  She laughed, the sound brittle again. “A break implies we were dating. We were never dating, Jared. We were just screwing. I was someone to entertain you while you weren’t with Tiffany.”

  “Tiffany? I’m escorting her to a charity event Tuesday night, but that’s it.” Which I had failed to mention to Callie because I didn’t believe it was important.

  “Isn’t that the same as dating?”

  “No. Dating implies I’m hoping to at least kiss her. Escorting means just that. I’m taking her to the event ’cause she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She would rather go with a friend than arrange a real date for the night.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you want to call it. I still can’t be with you anymore. Logan is our first priority. You need to decide what you want to do with him, especially once the band starts touring. Am I the one who’s looking after him while you’re away? Or will your parents be doing that?”

  I opened and closed my mouth like a dying fish, incapable of making any sort of sound. I’d foolishly thought she cared about me, but she never really had. While I hated how this had all come out, maybe it was for the best.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, once you’ve figured it out, be sure to let me know.” She stormed from the room. A moment later, pots banged loudly from the kitchen.

  My phone played Aaron’s song. “Yes?” I answered.

  “The guys and I are heading over to Santiago’s for a couple of drinks and to watch Burning Wire perform. Nolan’s also coming.”

  “Sure, I’ll be there.” Maybe giving Callie some space was a good idea. She was angry and hurt. She needed time to let everything sink in; then we could talk again.

  Logan was still watching TV when I entered the living room. “Hey, I have to go out, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” I raised my fist to bump his.

  A heartbreaking pout formed on his lips. “You’re not living with me and Mommy?”

  “I’m sorry. But would you like to live with me when I’m not touring?”

  “Can Mommy come too?”

  Yeah, I guess I should’ve seen that coming. “It’s up to your mommy.” I hugged him. “I love you.” It felt good saying that, but at the same time there was a hollowness to the words. Like it wasn’t just Logan I should be saying them to.

  The banging in the kitchen had stopped. Not wanting to leave things the way they were, I manned it up and entered the kitchen. Callie was staring at the covered pot on the stove. The electric ring under it burned bright. Tears stained her cheeks.

  I couldn’t help myself. I enveloped her in my arms. Instead of resisting my touch as I had expected, she leaned into me. Her soft scent and her soft body in my arms reminded me how right this was.

  I pulled back slightly, my arms still around her, and my lips brushed against hers. This felt right too. It also felt right when she parted her lips and let me in.

  The kiss that greeted me wasn’t slow and it wasn’t hungry. It was filled with a longing burrowed deep—both down to her bones and mine. It was also a kiss that spoke of goodbye.

  I deepened it, my hand on the back of her head, telling her I wasn’t about to walk away from her like she expected. Everyone important to her had disappeared from her life. No way in hell would I be one of them.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I didn’t give her a chance to respond. I said goodbye to Logan one more time and left.

  Chapter 34

  Jared

  Santiago’s was nothing like the old dives I used to play in when I was first introduced to the L.A. music scene. It was the place where the up-and-coming bands wanted to be showcased. Many a musician had been discovered here by either an agent or a label. And the clientele knew this. The bar also catered to a crowd that wouldn’t be caught dead in a dive.

  The rest of the band was already at a table near the stage when I arrived. I dropped onto a padded leather chair next to Nolan and smirked. “Let me guess…Hailey’s out with friends?”

  “Hey, she doesn’t have me whipped, if that’s what you’re implying.” His gaze jumped to Mason, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out where that had come from. Mason was positive Hailey had our lead singer whipped and that was why Nolan usually stayed home with her instead of joining us for drinks.

  I laughed. “So she’s not out with friends?”

  “Nope. The last I saw, she was watching a girlie show with some dude in a kilt prancing around an old Scottish castle.”

  “Ah, so she kicked you out of the house so she could watch it without you making wiseass remarks.”

  Nolan grinned. “Yep, pretty much.”

  We didn’t get a chance to talk beyond that. Burning Wire sauntered onstage, and we cheered as our friend Tomas took his place behind his drums.

  It wasn’t until the set was almost over that I glanced around the bar to check out the audience’s reaction to the band. And that’s when I spotted Tiffany at a table with a few other people. Unlike Callie, who’d been wearing a simple T-shirt and faded jeans, the women wore tight, low-cut dresses, the men high-priced suits. Callie’s clothes teased you with a hint of her sexy curves. Tiffany’s dress made me miss the feel of Callie’s sweet-smelling body in my arms.

  As if sensing me watching her, Tiffany shifted her attention from the band to me, and she flashed me the sexy smile that had graced numerous magazine covers. The sexy smile that did nothing for me. Not like it used to. It just made me miss the girl I loved even more.

  I turned back to the stage.

  Once the band finished their final song, hollers, screams, and whistles filled the air and left my ears ringing. The guys in Burning Wire waved to their fans, and they were barely off the stage before the fans and groupies swarmed them.

  They weren’t the only ones enjoying the attention. Numerous people had also spotted us and were quick to either chat with Kirk and Aaron or let Mason be his usual horndog self. Nolan was busy talking to a couple of guys. A group of girls near him watched him while giggling. I’m not even sure he noticed them. He was deep in conversation.

  I checked my phone in case Callie had tried to contact me. Nothing. Needing to go to the bathroom, I pushed myself out of my seat and weaved through the crowd. Now that the live part of the evening was over, everyone had swarmed to the bar to get a refill.

  A hand landed on my arm, stopping me. I turned to gently remove myself from the fan’s grasp.

  “Hi, Jared,” Tiffany said, giving me the same smile she had given me a short while ago.

  I stepped back, causing her hand to fall a
way. My ass brushed against the bar stool behind me. “Hey, didn’t realize you were planning to be here.” Not that it mattered either way, as long as Callie didn’t find out that Tiffany and I had been here at the same time. That would only worsen the situation between us, even though nothing was going on between Tiffany and me.

  “My friends have been gushing about the place. I thought I’d check it out.” She narrowed the distance between us. “I heard about the picture of you and your son going public.” She visibly cringed. “That’s horrible what the paparazzi did, but you and your son will eventually get used to it.”

  “What do you mean we’ll get used to it? Aren’t there laws in California against it?” I was pretty sure there were. Whether the paparazzi obeyed them was another matter.

  She shrugged. “I have no idea, but with your band’s growing popularity, people will be curious about your life. They’ll be curious about your son, especially since he’s deaf. It’s part of being a celebrity.”

  “I don’t want him to be a part of that media circus. I want him to have the same life I had growing up.”

  “Then maybe you should consider allowing Callie to adopt him and have full custody. Eventually the spotlight will move from them and he can grow up having a…a normal life.” The way she said “normal life,” you’d have thought it involved moving to a cold, desolate location like Siberia.

  I scowled. “Are you telling me I should give up my son?”

  “I’m just saying that you need to do what’s right for him. You need to do what’s right for you. You’re not meant to be a father, Jared. You’re meant for bigger things.”

  “Apparently my sperm would disagree with you,” I said, my tone even despite the fact that my insides were boiling at her words. Yes, I was still learning to be a good father and I had four years of catching up to do, but band or no band, I knew I was meant to be a father. I was meant to be Logan’s father. I might not be a religious man, but if I were, I would’ve bet that God had brought Logan, Callie, and me together for a reason. And it wasn’t so that Tiffany could tell me I wasn’t meant to be a father.

  “You and Pushing Limits are going to be big,” she said. “All your hard work and sacrifices will be worth it.” She traced her fingertips up my arm, her meaning clear.

  I jerked my arm away. “Are you saying I can’t be in the band and be a father to my son?” I had asked myself the same question a number of times in the past few days. Could I still be a good father and continue to play with the band? I had no idea, but I was willing to work hard at it and do my best for my son.

  And I was willing to work harder at it with Callie.

  “No,” Tiffany said. “I’m just saying it’s not the best way to bring up your son. You’ll always be busy and will always be on the road. I told you, my parents weren’t around much and I was brought up by nannies. Sure, I turned out fine, but not every kid can adjust. They feel unloved and unwanted. Is that how you want Logan to feel?”

  “Look, I don’t know what you’re expecting, Tiffany, but I just want to be clear that there is no you and me. There hasn’t been for a while now. What you and I want from life is very different.”

  “That’s not true. I can guarantee we want the same things.”

  I thought about all the things that were important to her: the mansion where she lived on her own, the high-priced clothing, the trips to exotic locations, the Hollywood parties, the connections, the money, the fame.

  None of those were who I was or wanted to be.

  Without another word to her, I returned to my table and told the guys I was bailing. I left and drove around for an hour, trying to figure out what to do next. I loved Callie. That much I knew. I couldn’t imagine anyone else being the mother of my child, and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

  At first I drove aimlessly around the area, then the next thing I knew I was parked in front of the diner. It was late, but I had a sudden craving for a chocolate milkshake. Or maybe it was the waitress who always served it to me who I was craving.

  I entered the diner and was met by Beckie, Callie’s friend. “If you’re looking for Callie,” she said, “she’s not here.”

  “I know. She’s home. I just came in for a milkshake and fries.”

  The corners of her lips twitched up. “Is this for you or for Logan?”

  “Me. You could say he got me addicted to them.”

  That made her smile more.

  She led me to the same booth Logan and I usually sat in when we ate lunch here. “How…how’s she doing? She was upset after I showed her the article about Logan, but she seemed devastated after your girlfriend talked to her.”

  I frowned. “Girlfriend?”

  “Tiffany Grainger.”

  I shook my head, a bad feeling crawling over every inch of me. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  “Really? That’s not what I heard.”

  “Whoever told you that was wrong.”

  “It was Callie.”

  Somehow this didn’t surprise me. Not after our conversation earlier. “When exactly did she tell you this?”

  “This afternoon. Right after Tiffany left.”

  Fuck. Well, that would explain a few things. “Do you know what else they talked about?”

  Beckie shook her head. “All I know is that whatever Tiffany told her upset her more than the news story that you’re Logan’s father.” She studied me for a second. “I still can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner. He does look a lot like you. Do you have any idea who leaked the story?”

  “No.” But based on my earlier conversation with Tiffany and what Beckie had just told me, I had my suspicions. She’d sold me out. Few people were aware of my relationship with Logan. So unless Mason had gotten drunk and blurted it out, the initial information had to have come from Tiffany.

  The question was, what was her involvement in Callie’s decision to end our relationship? And more important, how could I show Callie how much she meant to me?

  Chapter 35

  Callie

  Jared’s car wasn’t in front of his parents’ house when Logan and I arrived. Thank God. The only reason I’d agreed to visit Jared’s mom when she called was because she promised he wouldn’t be here. Well, two reasons. The other was that Logan was her grandson and she had every right to spend time with him.

  I turned off the engine and swiveled around in my seat so Logan could hear me. “Are you ready to see your grandparents?”

  “Is Daddy gonna be here?”

  “Not until later. And then he’ll drive you back home. Are you okay with that?” I was only staying for a short time. Being back in the house was too painful on many levels. Plus I really couldn’t handle seeing Jared yet. My heart was still raw and tender. Sure, I’d have to get over it soon enough, but for now I was allowed to wallow in my grief.

  Which was why Hailey and I were getting together for a couple of drinks. Just the two of us. No talk about the band allowed.

  I opened the back passenger door and helped Logan out. Logan trotted up the steps to the front door, with me following behind. It had been three days since the news story first broke, and Logan was adjusting to it better than I had expected, beyond what happened that one day at preschool.

  I was a different matter. The media had tracked down my phone number and kept calling me, asking for an interview. I changed my phone number after the second day. A few more creative individuals had also discovered where I worked. As soon as I came to get their order, they bombarded me with questions about Logan and Jared, about my relationship with Jared, about Tiffany’s thoughts on my home-wrecking skills when it came to her and Jared’s perfect relationship. The last question made me laugh. If it was so perfect, how could I have wrecked it so easily?

  I still had no idea if they had split up. One report said friends claimed the couple’s relationship was stronger than ever. Another claimed Tiffany was emotionally distraught over their breakup and had recently checked into some sort of rehab. M
y favorite report, though, was the one claiming she was pregnant with an alien baby.

  Logan rang the doorbell. The door opened a second later, and Jared’s mom and the delicious aroma of chocolate chip cookies greeted us. We stepped into the house that had always felt like home, cozy with its warm colors and southwestern theme.

  “I want cookie,” Logan said with the level of exuberance normally reserved for his favorite ice cream.

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “How about you at least say hi to your grandmother first?”

  “Hi,” he said, sheepishly.

  Jared’s mother bent down. “Do I get a hug?”

  He threw himself at her and allowed her to hug him for fifteen seconds before he began squirming.

  In the kitchen, she gave him a cookie from the cooling rack, then picked up a pitcher of what looked like strawberry lemonade. “Callie, do you mind taking this outside to the gazebo? The glasses are already out there.”

  “Not a problem.” I took the pitcher from her and went out through the backdoor.

  As I put the drink on the gazebo table, a small sound behind me, like a soft exhalation, alerted me that I wasn’t alone. Thinking it was Logan, I turned around. “How’s the…” I began.

  The rest of the sentence froze at the sight of Jared standing in front of me. My heart pinched, begging me to ignore everything Tiffany had told me—but I couldn’t.

  I stepped away. Jared gently grabbed my arm. “Please don’t go. I want to talk to you.”

  “I can’t. I’m meeting up with Hailey.”

  “You still have time.” When it looked like I wasn’t going to run—at least not yet—he released my arm. “First, whatever Tiffany told you, it’s not true. She and I aren’t getting back together. We want different things in our lives.

  “Second, she was the individual who leaked the information to the online tabloid. I tracked down the photographer yesterday. She’d actually paid him to do it.”

  “He told you that?”

  He shrugged. “Let’s just say my lawyer and I can be very persuasive. I’m aware that the job I signed up for isn’t the most ideal one for having a family, but I promise to do my best.” He fumbled for something in his jeans pocket, then took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Callie, will you marry me?” He held out his fist and opened it. I gasped at the engagement ring in his palm. It was simple, not overly flashy—at least it wouldn’t have been if not for the large diamond.